**Warning This Blog has LOADS of Cussin' ~ So No Thin Skinned Pussies Allowed**

Hola Campers welcome back! So for today's camp out I wanna talk about my most fave mash-up ~ Me and mutha fuckin' Cussin'...

As you all know because you're a regular reader of my blog (or have at least read some of my blogs) that I am a highly skilled and flagrant user of the most wonderful language in the world ever: Cussin'.

Now mind you, some, more proper people prefer to call it "Cursing," however I find that since I'm not invoking bad shit to happen to fucked up people (well not all the mutha fuckin' time anyway) the word "Cursing" doesn't always fuckin' fit. So for me, "Cussin'" is a far better description of what the fuck I'm actually doing. Because as you all have read time and time again from my tales of debauchery, fun, and even woe, there are many occasions that I have had to cuss a mutha fucka, right the fuck out because he tried to break bad. Or as my sweetie Trend (Hey Sis) would say: "Carlita, you know how to get 'em told..." **Best Compliment EVER**

So anyhoo, as you'll discover in this randy blog ~ I learned my 2nd language from a gaggle of old cussin' pros: every member of my shit family. From my hysterically neurotic (yet funny as a mutha fucka) maternal grandmother Vivian, to my disgustingly vile sperm donor, who each are masters of the language. **Honorable mention goes out to the Mommy Dearest of old, the Chief (the paternal granddaddy RIP), as well as the countless other uncle's, aunt's and cousin's (who shall remain nameless ~ unless you mutha fucka's piss me the fuck off) who ain't or weren't no slouches at gettin' in on a mutha fucka either...

And since cussin' comes so naturally for me because as stated I was born into a mutha fuckin' family of cusser outers who still to this day refer to me, themselves, and everyone else as just that ~ mutha fucka's it's easy for me to spit out a heavily peppered array of words strung together so the sting is more than painful or the conversation is very fun and/or funny.

Ya see as a little girl as far back as I can remember, members of my shit family would flatter a friend ("Shit this food tastes so fucking good"), verbally assault a foe ("I'm so sick of your fucked up shit I should fuck you up"), or insult their prey ("You gotta be the stoopitest son of a bitch to ever walk the face of the mutha fuckin' Earth")alike with a barrage of cuss words that were spewed at will with venomous accuracy. 

Thinking back, there didn't seem to be 1 family holiday that passed without the vigor of a cussin' "you" the fuck out fest.

As the queen bee of usage of my family's most beloved phrase, mutha fucka, my grandmother Vivian upon us visiting her home once she heard the doorbell ring, would yell from the back of the house before even reaching the door, "Who is it? Who is it mutha fucka? Who the fuck is it? Goddamn it if you sons of bitches don't mutha fuckin' speak up right the fuck now you not gettin' the fuck in here." 

Now I know for some of more docile speaking campers you'd probably be appalled by such brash verbiage, however your counselor always found it quite amusing - funny to say the least.

While on the other hand the sperm donors words weren't quite as amusing, because of his suppressed homosexuality his 4 letter bombs were far from funny, in fact 9 times out of 10 they were just mean. But obviously since this blog has been hatched his attacks have become quite useful in painting an accurate picture of who I am and how I got this way.

Many a day I reminisce (& laugh) with my most fave cousin (Hey Leslie) about the endless verbal attacks/insults that were many times followed by equally brutal physical attacks brought about by the sperm donor when he was in a fucked up mood. Which to be quite frank, that evil mutha fucka is always in a fucked up mood.

So many times I can remember the unwarranted verbal attacks because the siblings and I hadn't put our bikes in the garage ("I swear you the dumbest bunch of lazy ass stupid bitches in the world. Don't you ho's know that niggas like you ain't never gonna go no where in life because you to goddamn simple to follow directions?{As if leaving our bikes in our backyard during dinner was a real life setback}), got up and dressed for our many Saturday extra curricular activities (Don't you triflin' ass niggas know that the early bird catches the mutha fuckin' worm? Get out the beds niggas. Move it! Move it! Move it! Before I fuck you up), or simply because it was Monday (I swear you stupid ho's is so fuckin' dumb, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with a hole in the mutha fuckin' top). Yeah I know harsh, however like I said ~ useful...

And as for the honorable mentions ~ well let's just say there is someone in my family who don't slam doors - she slams niggas (I like her though). And no it ain't Mommy Dearest, she was more of a fun name caller. I believe her most fave word of choice was strumpet. (Great word Mommy Dearest I used it in my book. )

So I write this blog to say, when you read my stuff ~ blogs, comments on the social networks, or even in my juicy new book, "No Love Lost" (which trust me is not some 4 letter word filled vulgar fest) keep in mind that I am a product of my environment. And unlike many who would do their damndest to change such a (Bad?) habit, I like it! Shit I LOVE it! Engaging people with my million and 1 useless facts and then peppering the language with as many appropriate placed cuss words always seems to bring me a depraved type of glee, so unless we're doing battle NO OFFENSE they're just words...

And that's it for me right now, so I'm fiddna deuce you mutha fucka's out because I'm on my way here:

So until our next camp out enjoy the wine and trees and remember the fires always burning here at Carlita's Camp! And don't forget to check out my juicy new novel "No Love Lost" on Amazon.com for Kindle download. And if you don't have a Kindle NO WORRIES because there is a free Kindle App for your iPad, computers, or Smartphone. Here's the link: Free Kindle App